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O. Henry's Other Noms De Plume

paulftompkins:

shannondapper:

(Well, I was gonna try to do something useful this morning, but nope, I just transcribed all of O. Henry’s pennames listed by Marc and Hal in this episode of The Dead Authors Podcast. I’m allowed to listen twice in two days for Christmas reasons. CHRISTMAS. REASONS.)

  1. Dixie Pickle

  2. Crab…

MERRY CHRISTMAS

“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’


“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’”

Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via wantonmasochist)

Nothing has ever been more accurate.

(via kakakakaitlin)

This. He needs to learn this.

(via radioactive-669)

Yup. Inserting your penis and gyrating until you cum doesn’t necessarily mean I’m happy. Have you met my clit?

(via eatimitationcrab)

A hahahahaha!

Yes.

(Source: moscowisburning, via stfueverything)

Weather Channel Founder: Polar Bears Have Increased Because “Eskimos” Are Now “More Civilized”

mediamattersforamerica:

image

The founder of the Weather Channel, now a local weatherman on a San Diego television station, dedicated nearly half an hour to climate change misinformation, including claiming that there are more polar bears because “Eskimos … have now become more civilized.”

ATTENTION TUMBLR FEMINISTS!

maraschino-virgin:

I have a quick little experiment. If you believe that trans* women and cis women are both women (you can have any genitals and still be a woman), then please reblog! 

If you disagree, please reblog this one here.

(via stfueverything)

not-dirty-just-freckled:

I have too many Steve Carlsburgs in my life and not enough Carlos’

He should really just buy copies of “Body Double” and “Inside Lydia’s Ass” at this point.

(Source: jamesbadgedale, via lennyburnham)

nerdyfacts:

(Source.)

I want to read this issue more than anything.

nerdyfacts:

(Source.)

I want to read this issue more than anything.

paulftompkins:

1) Too many concepts jammed together. 2) That kid in the hoodie is trying to look like a Jedi? The Emperor? The Unabomber? but just looks like a thoroughgoing creep. 3) I’m in a meat locker and on the verge of hypothermia. I should have probably made that number one, but I feel so wonderfully warm and sleepy right now, so (at A meat locker)

paulftompkins:

1) Too many concepts jammed together. 2) That kid in the hoodie is trying to look like a Jedi? The Emperor? The Unabomber? but just looks like a thoroughgoing creep. 3) I’m in a meat locker and on the verge of hypothermia. I should have probably made that number one, but I feel so wonderfully warm and sleepy right now, so (at A meat locker)

tastefullyoffensive:

How October Jones Passes Time on the Train


Related: Subway Snapchat Art

(via paulftompkins)

O. Henry's Other Noms De Plume

paulftompkins:

shannondapper:

(Well, I was gonna try to do something useful this morning, but nope, I just transcribed all of O. Henry’s pennames listed by Marc and Hal in this episode of The Dead Authors Podcast. I’m allowed to listen twice in two days for Christmas reasons. CHRISTMAS. REASONS.)

  1. Dixie Pickle

  2. Crab…

MERRY CHRISTMAS

“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’


“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’”

Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via wantonmasochist)

Nothing has ever been more accurate.

(via kakakakaitlin)

This. He needs to learn this.

(via radioactive-669)

Yup. Inserting your penis and gyrating until you cum doesn’t necessarily mean I’m happy. Have you met my clit?

(via eatimitationcrab)

A hahahahaha!

Yes.

(Source: moscowisburning, via stfueverything)

Weather Channel Founder: Polar Bears Have Increased Because “Eskimos” Are Now “More Civilized”

mediamattersforamerica:

image

The founder of the Weather Channel, now a local weatherman on a San Diego television station, dedicated nearly half an hour to climate change misinformation, including claiming that there are more polar bears because “Eskimos … have now become more civilized.”

ATTENTION TUMBLR FEMINISTS!

maraschino-virgin:

I have a quick little experiment. If you believe that trans* women and cis women are both women (you can have any genitals and still be a woman), then please reblog! 

If you disagree, please reblog this one here.

(via stfueverything)

not-dirty-just-freckled:

I have too many Steve Carlsburgs in my life and not enough Carlos’

He should really just buy copies of “Body Double” and “Inside Lydia’s Ass” at this point.

(Source: jamesbadgedale, via lennyburnham)

(Source: fitvillains)

nerdyfacts:

(Source.)

I want to read this issue more than anything.

nerdyfacts:

(Source.)

I want to read this issue more than anything.

paulftompkins:

1) Too many concepts jammed together. 2) That kid in the hoodie is trying to look like a Jedi? The Emperor? The Unabomber? but just looks like a thoroughgoing creep. 3) I’m in a meat locker and on the verge of hypothermia. I should have probably made that number one, but I feel so wonderfully warm and sleepy right now, so (at A meat locker)

paulftompkins:

1) Too many concepts jammed together. 2) That kid in the hoodie is trying to look like a Jedi? The Emperor? The Unabomber? but just looks like a thoroughgoing creep. 3) I’m in a meat locker and on the verge of hypothermia. I should have probably made that number one, but I feel so wonderfully warm and sleepy right now, so (at A meat locker)

"

“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’


“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’”

"
Weather Channel Founder: Polar Bears Have Increased Because “Eskimos” Are Now “More Civilized”
ATTENTION TUMBLR FEMINISTS!

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